A Life Beyond They Shall think

Having a great friend speak to me today is one of the best things to happen in the last few years. I didn't realize it at the time but then I awoken from a nap just now and I realize the significance of he said. I felt direction, I felt focus, I didn't need to scour the internet finding a quickie solution and keep depending and finding people anymore on what to do and where to go.

I don't feel like I have to strap dynamite to my feet and jump off the Top of the Rock, it feels simple what I have to do.

It is as simple as it is effective and deadly.

Let me give you a short background of him. His name is Chris, 26 years old, and he is a former Marine that served in Iraq, he quit as a personal trainer because he told me although it was making him a ton of money he wasn't happy working with his rich, snobby clients. He decided to do something he finds enjoyable, money isn't the end it all he saids, happiness is.

He likes history and wanted to be a history teacher in high school, he wants his classes to be extraordinary learning experiences far away from lifeless lecture halls, and told me when he teaches the revolutionary war, he would take them out to the field, dress them up one side redcoats and minutemen and train them and have them play the roles of the soldier to get a little taste of what it was like.

He is an avid surfer for 11 years and loved living in 2 years in Wales when he was in the Marines because the beaches there are awesome. He works as a lifeguard every summer because its a great feeling to sit on the beach, reading a book with the ocean breeze washing across your face and you occasionally get to save somebody.

Thats the little of what I know about him biographically from what he has told me. He told me when I asked him about it, otherwise he listens to me bantering on and on about my problems. Bless him, I try to be positive, but there are times that I do vent, but he seems to like hearing about what I have to say and apply his own perspective to it. It's rare anybody listens anymore instead of bragging about themselves or being self centered.

In a college with 14000 people, genuine people are a needle-haystack. I have met many people here, and people occasionally tell me I know everybody here just because I say hi to those I have briefly talk to or are in my classes. They aren't what I can call friends because either they are too busy (friendships need time to fuel) or that I don't find them genuine. This place feels like a softer, safer microcosm of the real world. People are constantly trying to gain status, if not by money and influence here then by sexual prowess.

Guys telling me stories (ABOUT THIS ONE TIME, YO MY FRIEND, THIS CHICK) and I can feel subconsciously that he is bragging. Girls being self centered and keep complaining about a guy they wanna fuck and hooking up.

I start drowning, because I value people who listen and relate. Those people are the gems and treasure of our society. They are the anonymous superheroes not unlike Superman that exists not in Gotham or Metropolis but here in the real world.

I wrote that innocent lost post because everything thing in a college dorm life seems upside down and even the girls here are crazy and promiscuous. I grew up in a fairly conservative Asian background and was given a lot of love and romanticism of the world, and I truly believed in it until now. Although, my mom occationally warned me to be careful, you shouldn't reveal your closest secrets to even your closest friends. And it gave me a little dark, conspiracy that I didn't believe until I became older.

Coming here, I felt like I grew up, you learn to live with people you don't like, things don't go your way, you are out of close friends and social support for the first few months. You learn to get hardened by things that suck so you'll stop complaining and really appreciate what good luck and fortune really is.

I'm glad I found a direction today. I found to admire a lot of his opinions and views of the world, and he saids that we're in the same category.

We are people who don't belong in a certain group of people or associate themselves with any one activity or thing.

We tend to bounce around and hang out with every group back in high school, if the footballers threw a party, we'll fit in. The skaters, we fit in. If the nerds had a party, we'll go there too and fit in.

People tend to look for leadership, they flock to other people and join their groups. Because there is always going to be one guy in that group that tells them what to do and what next, its a natural human thing.

While living in England for two years with the Marines, Chris would go off to the city and just ride the tube and walk around the city by day when he had off, and at night he would call up his friends and hit the pub and hang around with them.

He walked around and rode the subway and found interesting things and interesting people to meet. He eventually found something really fun to do and invited his friends to do it with him and they would follow his lead. "Do you want to come do this thing with me today?" Yes they would say, and that would be it. He'll be suddenly a leader and showing them around.

The thing I learned from this, people are leaders simply because they had nothing to do and just started doing something... anything and then others started following them.

People need direction, and they would rather find a well established leader instead of doing something nothing by themselves.

All of the people I met here have complained about finding nothing to do on campus, they go home on the weekends and when they stay they will stay in their rooms on the computer doing absolutely nothing. No WONDER why they complain.

I will do anything now to get out of nothing, next weekend when I'm staying over the weekend on campus, I am going to walk... just walk around the surround town of Stony Brook. Find places, find interesting things, views, perhaps bring a camera, and just walk and being happy being alone unless I happen to run into an interesting person along the way. Perhaps we have a good conversation, then perhaps this person could tell me what he or she will like to do around the town or something interesting about it. Then I will have either made a new friend or I would have found something interesting on my own I could invite others to see, or I could simply have a very pleasant walk around this quiet little town and take some of the scenery and fresh breeze in.

I am applying the same to life. I will no longer sit here and do nothing, but I will find something. Nothing is an illusion, boredom is caused by being dependent on other people for our pleasures.

Be your own leader, get out and do... anything. If you're near a city, walk around the city and look for things that interest you... take risks... talk to interesting people... if anything it is better to experience the world than to complain about it.

I can't begin to tell you how many applications that this attitude has towards all walks of life.

Be your own leader, others will follow.

I thank you Chris, for being a great friend and being totally genuine and confident around me, thank you for being such an inspiration. I thank you Eugene, for encouraging my writing and giving me a drive to push it better and better.

I found a good direction now.