Friday, December 15, 2006

Lost in a crowd of a thousand friends

One of my closest friends called me last night and we had an amazing chat over the phone at midnight. She said I was deaf, and I teased that her thick English accent is what my ignorant American brain can't seem to comprehend. Although perhaps I do have a hearing problem (STOP jerking off so much! maybe thats why, you twat!), that doesn't mean that other people can't hear me. I don't know how tired or drunk I was that day with her on the noisy subway when i said this, but she said that it really hit home for her. We were on the topic of people and relationships, I remember vaguely what I said.

"You know when we are on the subway right now, all these people sitting around us, all these millions of people out there all around you in the city. They all could be our best friends and lovers if we truly got a chance to really know every each of them, but the hard part thats holding us back is to actually connect to them in a way that they let down their barriers or masks for them to reveal their true selves to you. Therefore, everybody on board this train is my best friend, they just don't believe it yet."

Circumstances and social conditioning has limited us from connecting to amazing people, let that not be. Let us be the few diplomats of the world and bring people closer together.


I am glad that somebody admires my perspective of the world. I hope she will be happier for it.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Unfiltered

Everybody is amazing, I believe that. It's not some bullshit I say to get free lunch or I am mr. happymcfuck.

This is one moral standard in all social interactions that more people should adopt.

Never, ever see people through filters.

That bitch is fat, that guy looks retarded, he plays pokemon and he's 32, this girl is a slut, nerd, geek, emo...

They are still people, connect to them, RESPECT them, try LISTENING for once because everybody longs to be heard, It's not like you have to have sex with them later on.

You may not even have to like the girl (or guy), but she (he) can have other cute friends. Win win for everybody, you made a new friend, being social, hooking up.

Those shallow guys who wouldn't talk to anybody but hot girls in bars and talk about bagging girls all the time, they never get laid. Those who brag, they never are respected. Those who never listen, are never heard.

Even sometimes your closest friends can be misleading, one of my closest friends told me this girl is weird, and this whole time I took her words and viewed this girl through a filter. Once I actually got to know her myself, she was an amazing person with alot going for her and is a talented musician.

Recently, I realized that i could have lost the chance to meet alot of friends if I would have caved and actually listen to what people say.

I once read that humans are running 80% autopilot on 80 percent of the time. Be smarter, be a socially intelligent person.

Never let other people's initial judgements of a person become YOUR'S, go find that person and see for yourself first.

Don't blame people, people are human. Human are prone to errors. They make mistakes, they are emotional, they don't know any better.

Be better than that, don't jump on the bandwagon because somebody said so or it's the cool thing to do, don't view people through filters. You are missing out on meeting amazing people and finding potentially a few life long friends.

You have it in you, you are so fucking money. Just like those guys in Swingers.


PS: Girls, guys. Stop playing that hard to get game, be sincere. Try it. You got game.

Monday, December 04, 2006

A Text Marriage

I love text messaging. It is a great way to stay in touch and an even better way to flirt. Dimitri from theApproach always made an emphasis on the power of it. For one, getting a number and calling on the same night is almost always out, but texting is a whole different story. It is a simple and yet very very effective way to show the girl a bit of your personality and staying in touch at the same time.

There is a negative conception that when you call a girl and she doesn't pick up, it is bad. But sitting on the bus, you can always see the cute girls clicking away on their cellphones and sidekicks. There is something naughty and seductive and yet, perfectly innocent when you say that you will pour honey and lick her all over that you can get away through text messaging.

Here is the part I want to quote from Dimitri from his email newsletter on text messaging.

I text every girl in my phone every 3-4 days. The texts are just
fun, show a little of my personality, and fill the girls in on
what's going on in my life. I write the texts for myself, because I
like to - NOT to impress or please her. And I NEVER ask for a
response, or ask a question. I give opportunities to respond
without making her feel bad or like she's going against what I want
by not responding. I sent texts like:

After first meeting a girl:
GOOD: so fun to make new friends :)
GOOD: u are such a sweetheart! thanks for sharing umbrulla
GOOD: ur the cutest thing ever. happy i met u :)
BAD: cool meeting u. what u doing thurs?
BAD: want to hang on fri?

To keep in touch:
GOOD: i just got the most fly pair of jeans ever for $12. i'm pumped
GOOD: so warm out! it's cowboy hat weather
GOOD: my puppy is ridiculous
BAD: whats going on?
BAD: havent talked to u in a while. whats up?
BAD: hey whats new

To invite her to spend time with you:
GOOD: hitting the museum fine art on tues. buzz me if you get in an
artistic mood
GOOD: if u have a lot of energy after work, we're salsaing and u'd
fit right in.
GOOD: u totally have to meet my friend maria. u two are like
sisters seperated at birth
BAD: want to come to museum on tues?
BAD: we're going salsa dancing tonight, want to come?

After spending time with her:
GOOD: had so much fun. *hugs*
GOOD: i'm safe, warm, & happy. mmm sleep tight darlin
GOOD: u are way too nice :) i had so much fun
BAD: did u have fun?
BAD: are you home yet?

Leave those questions alone! Ask questions only after you get into
a texting "back and forth" conversation, and even then, only
sparingly. But DO text - My rule is I do not call a girl until she
has returned at least one text. It saves a lot of time too. Learn
to love it, fellas.



I had my own little fun today, I texted a few girls and two of them replied. Coming home and reading a new post on Mybirthdaypony's blog about conversation as an art and visualizing every interaction as a work of art made me realize that every good interaction I ever had, I had never planned ahead. When I texted this girl, I didn't know what to expect, but I was honest and took a few risks (Wayne Elise emphasized that for an interaction to go into a romantic realm, RISKs have to be taken and ideally should feel like the temporary swallowing of your heart when you are falling backwards with a friend to catch you, more about that in a future post).

Also, roleplaying is so fucking money and powerful weapon you can use to inject a bit of fun into your text messages. A textbook example in my sample interaction below.

I haven't spoken to this girl in a long time despite a few text messages and bumping into her a few times on campus, I feel like I just resparked it. I can't wait to see what happens, here it is happening today, unedited except for names. For your educational purposes.

JC: Knock Knock =)
Annabelle: Whos there?
JC: A little boy from BC
Annabelle: Whats up little boy? ; )
JC: I need somebody to keep me warm
Annabelle: Me too. It's way cold since yesterday. Im sitting at home where heater is barely working. It sucks ; [
JC: I like warm sake :)
Annabelle: i wish i had sake at home.. : p
JC: Lets go start a sake company, we'll be famous. Just you and me :)
Annabelle: lol thats a great idea
JC: But we have to name it the jc sake company :p
Annabelle: Where's my name?! Hey! lol
JC: The jc annabelle company sounds like were married, so we are married now :)
Annabelle: Wow, this is an arranged marriage! lol
JC: So romantic too, i like Hawaii for our honeymoon what do you think?
Annabelle: Bali sounds good what do u think
JC: Tell me what Bali is like
Annabelle: It's a southern island with beautiful nature and eccentric architectures
JC: Sounds like a dream, i love you :p
Annabelle: I love u more : p
JC: Wear something sexy for me tonight ;)
Annabelle: I will ; @
JC: :) i want to see u before i transfer in the spring
Annabelle: Sure: ) Lets go out*
JC: :) we will, i just got home ill talk to you later nite!
Annabelle: Later*

I have no idea what will happen, I didn't expect anything and didn't care about this girl even that much. So I just texted away with nothing to lose (it's alot easier taking risks over SMS I think) and took a few risks. If conversation is a canvas waiting for you to fill with art, then roleplaying will be one of those super expensive paints for your arsenal.

So you use this paint to make something beautiful. Take her to places with the both of you, pretend that you are married and are about to have a honeymoon and lots of wild sex. Or even pretend to be the big bad wolf going after a sexy little red riding hood. Put her into your world where no guy has bravely brought her before. Your seductive imagination is your limit. You got this, you don't even know it.

Now lets see where the paintbrush takes us. Amen.