Maturity, Age, Negative People

I had some good times and bad times with many different people in my social life. There are those whom you consider your friends at first impression and then later turn on to make you feel really bad, and then there are those whom you click, connect, and become friends for life. Having spoken to hundreds of people in the past year bygone, something has offically clicked in my head and it has become true for me. There is a lesson to be learned in every social interaction, every time you say hi to to a bus driver or crack a joke with the lady at Qdoba ordering a Burrito, and even lifelong old friends you see almost everyday there is potential to learn and grow.

A little bit on maturity. First of all, I do not have an offical defination what it is or what people interpret it as. I think the variable is too large, but for my defination of what is mature or what is not, I consider myself to be lost amongst a crowd, perhaps somewhere in the middle, reasonably mature and reasonably dorky. I do notice this though, 18 seems to be the age where it usually blossoms.

I believe it is where the teens truly start to peel off and the person starts to have their own opinion of the world and make it their own. There are some amazing people at 18, one of my friends being one of the most focused and vibrant people I ever know. He does Yoga and practices a good bit of Buddhism, and already sees his career in helping folks out in the alternative medicine field. (Btw, that's not to say that anybody who does Buddhism or yoga is mature, that is bullshit) and then I see some people who are in their 30s or even 40s whom seem to still be lost in space and act sprodically.

I use to have a common misconception that older people out in the real world would look down upon younger folks and not really take them seriously. I think a big part of that came from my Asian background, and perhaps not just Asian parents, maybe all parents as well. You surely remember when listening in to your parent's conversations, asking questions and then mom or dad pulling the famous "Oh, this is adult talk, it's none of your business."

I vividly recall the time I met a couple in their 50s in a bar. I sat down with them because my friends were away flirting with some girls and told them I liked to make new friends. I talked with them for a while, found them to be very joyous, full of life and telling me a fasinating tale about fishing Salmon in Alaska. After having so much fun with these folks, I wanted to see what they thought about young people. I was telling them how I feel really young and out of place here at this bar with all these business executives and artists and what they thought about it. They told me that they loved young people and its interesting hearing how they view the world in different eyes. To this day I remember the times I had with that couple and what they told me.

I think once pass 18, it really is up to a person how mature they really are and what they define it as. There isn't a declaration of Maturity written anywhere (contact me at chansd5@gmail.com if you find something) or any offical rule in society that tells you how to act mature and what not. I see some really mature young people, and some clueless older ones.

I'm not sure, is maturity a Porsche? A successful worldwide enterprise dealing in Cavier? Some one who preaches Christianity, Islam, or Buddhism? A Leader of a country? A 8 year old Chess genius? Somebody who tries to act according to what people tell them is cool or how to dress? I don't really know, but I do know this, you cannot live up to everybody's expectations nor can everybody live up to your's.

Those people whom you find mature enough can be your friends and spouses, and those whom you find negative should be avoided and cut out of your life at all costs. You shouldn't try to conform or hide your insecurities just to fit in somebody's ideal box, that's cheating yourself, and no girlfriend, guru, or business partner is ever worth that.

You have your insecurities and so has everybody else, embrace it, learn to love it, and make it a part of yourself that people find to be able to connect to. I read somewhere once, whom would you identify with more? The guy standing with sunglasses and looking unfazed and cool, or the guy who tripped on the sidewalk and looking around nervously as he picks himself up?

Envision a Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, everything about him/her is perfect, no insecurities, just Joe Cool. Would anybody be able to connect to that person? Would he truly have any friends? Or would he just intimidate and make people envy?

Also, cut all the people whom you feel worst having been around and just generally emotional baggage that you unwillingly (or half willingly) carried over from your yesterdays and years. Clean out your cellphone of ex-ex-girlfriends and negative people. You deserve much more than that, you truly do.

I believe in you cowboy, pssshhhtt!