Friendly People are Amazing!

I don't notice him, he's in the shadows, walking behind my Persian friends and two little cousins when I bump into them. We banter and do catch up, what's up, where were you heading, any parties you know of? He strides up and confidently puts his arm across my shoulder and innocently asks if I can take him to a party. I feel a bit awkward for not introducing myself to him earlier, but before I can even put out my hand, he put up his and said his name.

JC, I said. Then he said He likes me, we should get married. The two Persian girls joked and went along with it and said no, they were married and put her head on the other. I loved this joke, I think it's funny as fuck and shows how confident you are seeing how guys are always so insecure about it, so I put my arms around the guy and said yeah, this is my new boyfriend. We all laughed, the little brother, barely 12 said he wanted some pussy and that he was going to find some tonight. I chuckled, these kids are so confident.

Then the guy told me he was 15 as we all went to the cafe, I said bullshit. He said really, he is. (He is 15).

We had coffee and hung out and we had to go. I told him that he was one of the most friendliest and confident people I know and that he will have no trouble getting the ladies and having fun in college. I learned a lot from that kid, he has a memorizing aura of just personality and charm, and I realized that just by being more committed than the other person (in some cases A LOT more committed) it shows a great deal how confident you are.

Take today for example. I was getting lunch at the Kelly Dining hall on my campus, I got tavern-style Cod (some breaded fish) and a soup, I paid the lady and was on my way looking for somebody to sit next to (I never eat alone), when the soup slipped out of my hand and fell on the floor. A mustache-bearing man in a chef's uniform saw me drop the soup and told me that he's pretty sure I can get another one. I said thank you and explained to the cashier lady that my soup spilled, she wasn't happy about it and said only this time, that's why you get trays she said, next time I would have to pay for it. I got the soup and walked out, the chef saw me and smiled, and warmly said that that lady is just having a bad day, it's no big deal at all, he laughed. "Have a nice weekend."

I had the strangest feeling in my stomach to talk with the chef, for no reason at all, just the fact that I was really impressed the night before and something just intrigues me about these people.

At this point, I don't know much about these two amazing individuals. They are simply very, very committed to the interaction, perhaps without realizing it. But in an age where people are getting disinterested and spend more and more time in front of computers and becoming less socialized and more cautious, this gesture of friendliness and good faith gives your subconscious no choice but to return the warmth and feel comfortable with this person.

Often, a typical meeting with a stranger is more of a war of attrition then a friendly meeting. People look uncomfortable and feel uncomfortable because simply they aren't committed enough to the interaction. Should I shake his hand? Should I introduce myself now or in a minute? Should I tell him how awesome his Donald Duck Jacket is?

Or simply, you can stop all that bullshit and just do it. Stop thinking about what you want to do, just do the first thing on your mind. This stranger is your friend from elementary school and you grew up playing Scrabble together. How would you react to him? (Personally I'll give him a big hug, kind of like Johnny Saviour style)

It's funny, the universal rule of taking a risk or fortune favors the bold applies extremely well here. Don't think about what that person thinks, just introduce yourself with a big smile and ask for his name, he will DEFINITELY like you and think you are a confident, and amazing person with alot going for you (maybe it's not true, but who cares, he thinks you are, and you are, you're reading my blog ;p )

I mentioned first impressions in an earlier post, it still holds true that you NEVER JUDGE BY FIRST IMPRESSIONS. But people don't know that, and even you won't ever completely stop judging because you are human. So why not take this to our advantage and make people like us instantly?

How awesome would that be? Just by simply being more committed to the other person and willing to share yourself. It's going to be a bit scary at first, it is for me, I am going to practice just being really committed in the next few weeks too, breaking out of my own comfort zone. This may be the secret to being a great conversationalist. Think of all the things you can achieve, business meetings, social gatherings, just any situation you can think of where you meet new people.

Perhaps you are still sketchy about this whole idea, you are defensive, that's alright. I can be pretty defensive sometimes too and not wanting to accept new ideas, I know that feeling. But lets use a popular model we can all refer to.

If Brad Pitt or George Clooney came up and talked with you, would he hesitate at all to shake your hand and introduce himself?

No.

He knows he's the shit and half of the world knows it too. You don't have to be George Clooney, but you can have the same confidence and charming aura as him.

The world is for the taking, my friend.